Everyone wants to be Spider-Man;
No one wants to be Peter Parker

There are many ways to explore this thought, which is why I had so much fun editing yesterday's video. I wasn't going to explore it any further until I received these 2 replies:

It made me wonder what got them to reply the way they did, so let's explore this @en_rn7383 @KingofRobloxia-David

What defines Spider-Man?

I'd say the character is defined by 3 truths:

1. The spider bite (great power comes great responsibility)

2. Loss of a loved one (uncle ben, gwen stacy, aunt may)

3. Daily struggles of a lonely young adult (financial, romantic, social)

All of the above have been perceived as bad news in the movies. However, I think it's a matter of perspective.

1. The spider bite is a calling

For Peter, it is the awakening of his new powers.

To understand this, we have to detach from the character for a paragraph because being a web-slinging-wall-climbing-vigilante in real life is one in a million. However, the "spider bite" can manifest in different forms, and symbolises unlocked potential which can happen to anyone. For example?

Getting a new pet.
Signing up for a race.
Receiving a big promotion.
Turning your hobby into a business.

See a pattern?
All of the above are controllable.

What sucks for Peter is that he didn't wish for it. It happened to him by chance, yet he decided to make the most good out of it. There are instances where he does stray from the heroic path, but he always had someone to guide him back to it. And it's why the cut gets deeper when he…

2. Loses a loved one

In Spiderverse, it's explained by Miguel to Miles that it's a canon event. You can't be Spider-Man without losing your Uncle Ben, Gwen Stacy or Aunt May. Their passing is what motivated every variant to put on the mask.

It doesn't matter who it is, because Death comes for all. It's usually a life-changing moment filled with pain, uncertainty and despair. Especially if it's someone who cultivated you.

It reminds me of the time I flew back from Australia to Malaysia to meet my dying grandma during the Covid lockdown. Her untimely death and quarantine restrictions changed the trajectory of my life and career. True story. I had no regrets making the decision, but I remember being devastated for months.

The takeaway here is that the death of a loved one can lead to unexpected transformations. No matter who Peter lost, he found a way to push forward when he has a strong support system. Eg: Aunt May when Uncle Ben died, or Ned and MJ when Aunt May died which brings me to my next point.

3. Daily struggles of a young adult

Life is pretty miserable without people you care about, love or money. And those are the exact things which are usually missing from a young adult's life, especially in one's early-20s.

We're usually the social punching bag, because society has no reason to reward men for merely existing. Most of us have to gain experience, capital and charm before we prove our value which takes time to accumulate.

It's also when compromises have to be made in pursuit of a strong desire. In all of their cases, I'd say they all limited their social lives: Tobey's had Harry (died). Andrew's had Harry (went mad). Tom's has Ned. I think we all know how their romantic lives end up.

So, let's talk about their finances. Tobey's was a pizza delivery boy and freelance photographer. Andrew was a student. Tom seems to be making a living off being Spider-Man, and had the support of Iron Man/Avengers.

All of them end up in their iconic apartment and none of them are swimming in gold, but I'd say Tobey had it the roughest and it's an accurate depiction of our economy today.

Conclusion

I think the idea of being Spider-Man is extremely enticing. Who doesn't want to save the day? Who doesn't want the awesome powers?

We tend to enjoy the shade of a tree, but never wonder what it took to grow it. At the core of it, Spider-Man isn't defined by his powers, he's defined by the choices he made as a person that dictated the type of hero he was bound to become.

Metaphorically speaking, we're all Spider-Man in one way or another. After all, Stan Lee did create him based on the average young adult with everyday problems.

Just like you and I.