The same people who ask me "how did you get fit?" eventually ask me "why are you posting on social media?"

They sound different but are the same question underneath and I believe it goes: is it worth it?

I've had to answer that twice: once for my body and once for my creative work. Surprisingly, the process feels similar.

"is it worth it?"

Unless you're in the trenches too, you wouldn't believe it if I said yes.

Because the objective answer is clear.
Why get fit? To live a long and healthy life.
Why post on social media? To share and connect with individuals globally.

The question is subjective, and subjectively, we share different priorities. On a personal level, this content thing? I don’t know, I’m not there yet. But the gym? I've kept at it for years, and it's 100% worth it.

Not just because of how I look now, but who I became chasing the goal. However, most people (myself included) tend to fixate on the shiny object in pursuit of the goal when in reality, the shiny object is usually a side effect of what you become in the process.

So, instead of asking "is it worth it?" — ask this instead.

"am I worth it?"

Here we go, getting a little philosophical.

Since young, I was rarely the sharpest tool in the shed. My entire self-worth was built upon my chaotic creativity, love for anime and video game skills. All of which were not well-received in a SEA environment and society reminded me of this daily.

As a result, I let a few bad days turn into a few bad years. It took me a death, a breakup and a flight to realise that the pain of staying the same outweighed the possibility of change. To do so, the first thing I had to accept was that I had lost my self-confidence.

Regardless, I was determined to reclaim myself. It's why I relate to Zuko most in ATLA and like Iroh said, honour is something that comes from within. I'd add that it's built from 3 things: competence, self-reliance and actualisation. Here's how I did it:

1. Don't wait for permission

The world isn't going to wait for you or give you permission to do better. There is no "I will make a change once I feel ready." Change is more of a decision than an outcome that you make before you feel ready. So, get out there and bend the rules.

Some people will laugh at your face. Maybe even kick you from behind. But that's ok, because the best strategy forward is to start by acting on your own, don't wait for someone else's generosity to get you out of a hump. You'll save time and build trust with yourself to get the job done. This boosts competence over time.

I believe in this for fitness as much as I believe in it for creativity, because I've realised the secret is to…

2. Start small, every day — no excuses

Find a problem in your life then dedicate yourself to a solution. For example, my goal was to look at myself in the mirror without shame. My solution was to hit the gym. That was 9 years ago.

I've spent the majority of my early 20s chasing that goal relentlessly. Something I do recommend now that I wish I did more of, is to document the process (video, journaling, etc) because I would've liked to remember the moment I started looking at the mirror and truly acknowledged myself.

It doesn't matter what the goal is. What matters is that you make it as small and exact as possible. Instead of saying "I will go to the gym tomorrow," say "I will wear my gym clothes at exactly 6am tomorrow." James Clear covers this in his book, Atomic Habits, where he calls it the "entrance ramp."

Doing this over and over again is what builds self-reliance and it's why consistency is key. If you keep at it, your peers will notice. That's why it's important to…

3. Filter your friends & foes

Remember those people who laughed at you or kicked you while you were down? That changes once you get results.

Change usually creates friction. This is natural, because the public perception of you is being forced to update due to your daily decisions. The effects of compounded effort over time will reveal people's true nature so pay attention.

To generalise, a friend will share your happiness.
A foe will be envious, maybe even bitter.
The devil's in the details, and you'll have to figure that out yourself.

What I can say is that it's easier to fall back into a comfortably negative cycle, especially when you're enabled by the wrong type of people. Make sure to choose your social circle wisely, curate your attention, and distance yourself unapologetically if necessary.

That said, it's important to remember that you didn't do it to prove them wrong, but rather to prove yourself right. In doing so, you'll cultivate an environment and the self-belief that your goal is being actualised through supportive social feedback.

"Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter" is the philosophy I used to reset my social system during Covid. It's why I decided to unfollow everyone and quit social media so I could start anew.

Alright, conclusion time

An identity shift isn't a causal effect. It's not about whether the goal is worth-pursuing but whether the version of you on the other side is worth pursuing.

It's not an "if/then" situation. It's a "who do I want to feed today?" The good wolf or the bad wolf? Whichever wolf you feed more becomes who you are, and you have to make that decision every day to build a healthy level of competence, self-reliance and actualisation.