Annual storage clearance

Me creating content last Saturday night

It’s 2 days away from Christmas Eve, and I’m going through my annual routine of clearing up my storage.
I’m looking back at images of myself back in high school and videos of myself a few years ago.
It made me feel embarrassed to admit that I felt like an outcast growing up – misplaced and misunderstood.

See, I grew up creatively in the science stream, because the Asian stigma runs strong.
It was a smart move, but it also meant a lot of Maths, Physics and Chemistry for me.
All of which didn’t come naturally, so I had to study a lot and was a B student at best.
So, I wasn’t smart, and I wasn’t athletic. In fact, I was usually benched, or excluded entirely from team sports.

I felt so cooked.

I remember a homeroom teacher telling my mum, “He isn’t going to make it.”
It was a gut-wrenching feeling, and it sapped a lot of my self-confidence growing up.
Because of that, I did less homework, focused less in class, and doodled my worries away on textbooks.
I became addicted to video games as a coping mechanism which also became my creative avenue.
That addiction led to an obsession with one particular game called Toribash.
I went by iAwesome and was so invested in it that I started customising my own character.

Eventually, other players took notice and started reaching out for my services.
Despite the endless routine of homework and tuition, I said yes to many.
On top of having fun, I got pretty decent at it.
That’s how I started making money by designing for strangers.

Compilation of little me’s game texture designs

I saw it as a sign to keep going

What started off as a hobby became my side hustle. My rivals in-game became my customers.
I would sketch ideas in class, and design them by night, while playing video games (don’t ask me how).
I started at 14 and by 16, I was making enough money to buy m o r e skins and m o r e video games lol. It was quite a cycle.
I shared this story with some clients recently, and watching them react to it positively was surprising.

”Why would you be ashamed of that? That’s a unique teenage experience.”
”Most people would’ve given up in your position, your past shaped who you are.”
”Tell me more about the video game assets you designed for strangers.”

I used to recall it in shame cause I felt like such a dorky nerd, but it is now a cherished memory from high school.
I’m sharing this now because there’s going to be phases in your life where you’re going to feel misunderstood.
They might know what you’re up to, but they won’t understand. You feel me?
It’s very important that you disregard the ill opinions about you, as long as you’re not evil and you understand yourself.

I wished someone was there to tell me that, because it was tough to get through it alone.
It’s why I’m willing put myself out there now, because I know that there’s going to be someone who can relate.
As long as I can be who my younger self needed for someone else today, then it’ll all be worth it.